Voiceless Victim

A survivor of clergy child sexual abuse speaks out for those who can't speak for themselves

Child Sexual Abuse Victims Abandoned by their Families

I have discovered a disturbing thing about children abused by Catholic Church sponsored sexual predators.

I’ve met a lot of other victims recently and heard their histories, each one shocking in its own way. Each victim has their own twist of the knife that makes their story truly heart wrenching, something you’ve never heard of before, something that makes you forget your own pain for a while and wish that this wonderful person you are talking to had never had to suffer in this way.

But there is a shocking similarity in all their stories.

An element that turns up, unexpectedly, in each tale. Each in its own way, quite unique.

The complicity of the Catholic parents.

There, I’ve said it.

If you’ve read my other posts you will know my contemptible parents enabled, encouraged and benefitted from my abuse. For most of my life I couldn’t face that fact, despite having experienced it first hand. Somehow my brain couldn’t get out of the groove that they had chained me to – that they were good parents. There must have been a reason, an excuse. I must have been too young, too naive, too ill informed to know what was really going on. Plus I was avoiding ever thinking about the abuse itself, so I certainly wasn’t dwelling on that either.

Until I reported my abuser to the police in 2008. And I was forced to look analytically at exactly what happened. And what happened was my parents were present while I was abused, and there is absolutely no possibility they were not aware I was being abused. But they carried on as normal as if nothing was happening. For six years. They stepped over my tiny body, pinned to the floor by an adult male lying on top of me. Let me tell you, that REALLY screws with your mind when you are twelve, confused, defenceless and in distress.

They were diappointed when, at nearly 18, I walked out of the house when he arrived to abuse me, because I had my driver’s license and I could finally get away. I wasn’t a little girl anymore with nowhere to escape to when my abuser invaded my home. And my parents were disappointed because his visits to abuse me were the key to their inclusion in the Church’s “inner circle”. My abuse was the key to their inclusion in the Church’s “inner circle”. And they didn’t want it to end.

But I am not the only one.

Other abusive families. Other victims sacrificed to abuse. Driven back for more abuse when they tried to leave. Verbally or physically abused by their parents for wanting to escape their priestly sexual predator.

Other parents still sucking up to the Church that abused their daughter, rather than helping the daughter recover. Actively trying to prevent the victim from recovering and revealing their neglect.  Abandonment. COMPLICITY.

And then, there’s the parents that would die if they knew. The victim can’t be open about their abuse, can’t use their real name, must hide their identity. If the parents found out it would kill them. What about the poor child who had to live with this secret their entire childhood?

But when you hear more about the story you have to wonder, do the parents really not know? How can they be so deliberately blind. So stupid.

Or is it so manipulative?

Don’t any Catholic parents put their children’s needs first?

Are they all abusers?

All suffering from personality disorders?

All products of the insanity that is Catholicism.

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One response to “Child Sexual Abuse Victims Abandoned by their Families

  1. Gloria Sullivan June 17, 2010 at 12:07 am

    I DON’T KNOW YOUR WHOLE STORY BUT I CAN’T IMAGINE ANYONE ALLOWING A GROWN MAN LIEING ON TOP OF THEIR CHILD WITHOUT KNOWING SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH THIS.

    SOME PARENTS PUT THE PRIEST IN THE PLACE OF GOD,(WHICH IS WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO DO) AND THINK HE JUST WANTS TO BE CLOSE TO HER. THEY NEVER HAVE A BAD THOUGHT IN THEIR MIND THAT A PRIEST WOULD DO A BAD THING.

    IF THEY DO, THEY ARE SICK, SICK , SICK. ESPECIALLY FOR THE REASONS YOU STATED. IF THAT BE TRUE AND YOUR PARENTS ARE STILL ALIVE, I WOULD HAVE TO CONFRONT THEM, AS THIS IS THE WORST CHILD ABUSE IN THE WHOLE WORLD.I’D HAVE TO GET A LAWYER.

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